I'm still mind blown that this is happening. A part of me thinks that this isn't real and that sonogram photo must be taken off of Google images or something. It can't possibly be OUR baby. But friends it is and we are thrilled to be able to announce that baby Schmidt will be arriving early July! I hoped and prayed that 2017 would look differently than 2016 because friends, 2016 was the hardest of my life. To say I'm thankful not only to having a little one growing inside me, but for a healthy pregnancy so far would be an understatement. Losing a baby last year defeated me. I struggled for a long time and if I'm being honest it still hurts. This week is my original due date for our January baby and though having a July due date to look forward to is wonderful, the thought of what this week was suppose to hold stings.
After our miscarriage it took my body 2 months to get back to "normal" and with the advice of all our doctors we decided to jump into fertility treatments. Being in the world of treatments is draining. Now, I really want to emphasize that what we went through is truly insignificant compared to what others experience. I count my lucky stars for our team of doctors and nurses who played an amazing role in making us parents, but every day I think of the others still in the wait and those who have recently experienced multiple miscarriages. Annmarie Swift posted on her Instagram account a little about her motherhood journey today and mentioned that although an experience may be shorter than others, hurt is hurt. I couldn't agree more. Our failed months killed me. Going to ultrasound after ultrasound, the shots, the pills, having your life revolve around doctor's orders, and timing everything perfectly is such a roller coaster. This is why I think of others still in the wait everyday. It takes over your life, it changes your marriage, and when it doesn't work you have to hold your head high and start again.
Chris and I went to the Outer Banks the first weekend in October last year one day after another failed month and I was miserable. I walked down to the beach by myself before we left to come home and cried. I am not super religious, but have held on to God's plan during this time and He has helped me more than anything. I begged Him for October to our month. Begged. I prayed and said that I couldn't do it anymore. My life was being overtaken and I needed October to be it. And weirdly, during the whole month both before and after our IUI treatment mid-October I felt calm and positive. We didn't even time our IUI correctly and I still felt like this was it. And it was.
So here we are about to enter week 16 and with a due date of July 7th. Counting down the days, y'all.
A huge thank you to Katie for taking these photos of us that I will treasure forever. And thank you for all f the sweet calls, texts, comments, and emails this week. Each one means so much to me.
Here is a video of me telling Chris the evening after I found out. It's terrible quality and too dark, but I love it. The book is Wish by Matthew Cordell.